The Power of Dads

Fatherhood is a lot harder than people make it out to be. Many may think that dads have it easy, and that moms do all of the real work. This is true in the fact that the mom takes care of the baby, but then who is supposed to take care of the mom? That's where the father comes in. It is his responsibility to help with the dishes, make sure the mom has time to take showers, cook/order takeout, and many other things the mom used to do, but can't anymore because she has to take care of the baby. Not to say the father can never do things like wake up in the night to help with the baby; if it just needs a diaper change or a soothing, he can get up. The problem comes when the baby needs to be fed and mom is the only one who can do that. So the father must step in with other responsibilities to allow the mother time to make up for lost sleep.

However, it is important to note however that if the father cares for the mother too much he may end up resenting her and that is not a good things either. The dad still matters and deserves respect too. It is important to make sure that he is still a part of decision making and raising the baby. He should not be pushed aside and replaced by the grandmother in the raising of the baby, which is not an uncommon occurrence. The father helped to create the child so he should be allowed to have a voice in raising it as well.

This is why it us so important for the father to take paternity leave. He does not need as much rest as the mother does and the baby will not depend on him as much as it will depend on her, but he still needs to help the mother with her own needs. Also, if he is away at work, there will be no time for him to be able to bond with the baby. Another advantage of paternity leave is that if the father is present, it is much more likely that his voice will be heard.

This is not to suggest that if you do not take paternity leave you will be a terrible father. My dad was unable to take paternity leave because when we were born he and my mom were very young and could not afford that much time off. However anytime he came home from work, no matter how tired he was, he would ask my mom what he could do to help. Often times she would have him take us and keep us occupied somewhere else so she could clean, cook dinner, or even just regain some of her sanity.

For the longest time my mom and dad would divide up responsibilities in a traditional way; my dad would go to work and earn money, while my mom took care of things around the house. However, recently my dad has been taking some time off of work so he helps out around the house a lot more. This has lead to him being a lot more present and has lead to a happier home.

My dad definitely helped around the house before this, he just helps a lot more now because he is less stressed and has less on his plate. I think that this is important to note; when you are stressed you are a lot less helpful than you are when you are not stressed. So if you want a happy family, not just "happy wife, happy life", work to create a low stress environment within your home.